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Dave stands proudly by his 1991 'Sun-dried Tomato' Chevy Cavalier. It is protected by powerful General Motors Amazon-Cherubim.

The car is a perfection of chaos and a delicate balance of disparate absurd parts. Each trinket lying on the floor is a vital puzzle-piece to a soon-to-be-over millennium. Pieces that explain everything and nothing. I liken them to the entrails of animals examined by the ancients to discern future events. And, for that reason alone, Dave is smart not to tinker with his car.

On the subject, I recommend silver as the perfect car color. You can go months without washing your car and it will continue to look semi-acceptable.

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