I bought the best pizza in Silicon Valley on Saturday. Not the best in the way some people say, “I just had the best Saturday.” These people don’t know pizza. These people spend Saturdays hiking Alum Rock and talking themselves into gluten allergies. I ate the best pizza on Saturday, during the middle of the day, and I ate all of it. That is the best Saturday.
This wasn’t just an ordinary encounter with a pizza, though. This was a confirmation hearing. For the past five years I have been on a mission to identify the best pizza in Silicon Valley. As a pizza aficionado, I should lay out my track record: I was tutored in the ways of pizza at a young age—my dad refused to share so he just started buying me my own pies. I’ve also apprenticed in pizza joints. First was Mountain Mike’s, with it’s crispy little nickel pepperonis, and then there was Round Table—twice. The second stint came in college. I worked on the line and as a delivery guy. I know every stage of a pizza.
With my resume before you, I’m happy to report we can end the speculation. A Slice of New York, located in a Stevens Creek Boulevard cubbyhole, takes the crown as the best slice in Silicon Valley. Before I go into why, a few notes:
• This is an objective and subjective exercise. There is a saying: “Pizza is like sex—even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.” This is true. But when it’s really good, it’s nirvana.
• I’ve excluded national chains. Pizza Hut is a threat just below climate change and Domino’s recent rebrand is nothing more than crotchless panties on a pig.
• Gourmet pizzas are an abomination. Artichokes and chicken belong on pizza like Bill Paxton needs a fourth nipple. For consistency, we stick with classic pepperoni.
• Deep Dish presents issues I’d rather not discuss. I love Chicago, but anyone who eats pizza with a knife and fork is dead to me.
Tell us your favorite pizza restaurant in Silicon Valley in the comment section below.
Melissa
May 14, 2015 -
How could you leave out Sal’s in Campbell? True east coast pizza. Love it!
ferndog
May 14, 2015 -
What about Premiere Pizza in San Jose and Santa Clara??
Johnny
May 14, 2015 -
amici’s and pizza my heart are better than jakes!? Don’t think so …you guys need to hire me as a food critic
Mario
May 14, 2015 -
Bronco Billy’s Pizza in Niles (Fremont, California)
“One of the best pizzas ever!”
Juan
May 14, 2015 -
Paxti’s should have made the list…they make a normal pie that would not offend your deep dish sensitivities…and what about Legends in Almaden? They make a pie as well that my son will eat and he is a pepperoni aficionado as well. He too despises deep dish and believes them to be an abomination…at the tender age of 6.
Bob Hoffman
May 14, 2015 -
What about Giovanni’s? It’s like A Slice of New York, but a little better.
Chris M
May 14, 2015 -
Bogeys in South San Jose and Paxtis in Palo Alto gets very high marks in my book
Donna
May 14, 2015 -
You missed the best I’m Italian and my father came from old Forge Pennsylvania the pizza capital of the United States if you Google it (not so sure if that is reality or not) but being from New York I can tell you I had pizza that made me feel like I was back home at Colosseum pizza on capital Avenue near the great Mall! it’s worth the drive – that’s all I can say. Everything else around here tasted like frozen pizza
MH
May 15, 2015 -
Oak & Rye in Los Gatos. Idc if it is
‘Gourmet’. I’d eat there every day if I could
Karin
May 15, 2015 -
Yeah, the list is simply not accurate. Colosseum New York Pizza (Milpitas), anyone? : )
Pizzagasm!
Harry
May 15, 2015 -
I don’t think you get to call yourself a “pizza aficionado” when you worked at Round Table, which is one of the worst pizza places in existence.
Randy
Jun 3, 2015 -
Hey! Nobody asked for my opinion! Tony & Alba’s …and MyPizzaMH should be on this list!